Definition of Success

One of my clients just sent me this quote, so I thought I would share it with you. What is your definition of success?

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (American Author)

Flying Solo

I was coaching one of my clients this morning and what we uncovered during the conversation was the impact that his close family are having on his life and his efforts to change it. And how, whilst having the best of intentions, they were part of what was holding him back. Now this is very common, and also a somewhat complex topic, which I'm not going to dive into right now. However one thing in particular that he said stood out to me. He revealed that his wife was of the opinion that he shouldn't need to hire a coach to help him create a more successful life, he should be able to do it "on his own".

Has anyone ever said something similar to you? Or perhaps you have said it to yourself - you know, during one of those conversations with yourself in your own head? When I talk to people about making changes in their life it is something they often say to me - it usually goes something like "but shouldn't I be able to do this on my own?" Hell, it's something I even used to say to myself!

I've learned, however, that it is the opposite that is true. The most successful people get as much help as they need to accomplish their goal. How many athletes do you know that have reached the top of their game without the help of a coach. How many top business people have gotten there without learning from others along the way? Take someone like Ellen MacArthur for example, the fastest female and youngest sailor to race around the world solo, non-stop. Whilst she sailed around the world on her own, do you think she did it without any help? Of course not, she would have had advisors, trainers, sponsors to name but a few. In fact if you look at the front page of her website: www.ellenmacarthur.com you'll find the following quote:

"It's always been about a team. Thanks for our partners, friends and supporters. Without them we would be nowhere." Ellen MacArthur

Many people believe something along the lines that "if you have help to achieve something then it diminshes that achievement in some way, or means that they are weak or 'less than' as a person". Not true! It is a common misconception however, and one that I would advise you to eliminate from your life. So next time you hear a phrase like "you should be able to do it on your own", either from someone else, or from one of the little voices in your own head, remind yourself immediately that it is not true and focus on seeking the help you need to get to where you want to go.

More Ocean Going Adventures

Well it would seem that the theme of feats of human endeavour and remarkable achievements of people working together is set to continue... I awoke this morning and whilst laying in bed decided to switch on the TV and was pleasantly surprised to find a documentary entitled "Ocean Rescue: The Race Against Time" had just started on Channel 4. It was about the remarkable true story of the British round the world sailor who rescued his adversary at sea in perilous conditions, captured by the two skippers' onboard cameras. The two boatsmen, Alex Thomson and Mike Golding, were among seven sailors taking part in the Velux 5 Oceans solo race in October 2006, when Thomson ran into trouble. His only chance of survival was his bitter rival Goulding, who turned back to sail nearly 100 miles to attempt an extraordinary rescue.

The documentary not only outlines the epic rescue and the challenges both sailors had to overcome, but the lifelong friendship that developed between these two adventurers who had previously been bitter rivals. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it and have tried to find out if it is going to be repeated, but that doesn't appear to be the case, so I have included a vieo clip and some links below if you are interested in finding out more.



http://www.ybw.com/auto/newsdesk/20061024115352ywnews.html

http://www.alexthomsonracing.com/index.asp

http://www.mikegolding.com/

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/sport/sirrobinknoxjohnston/nov06/rivals.htm

Who are your Champions?

For me, I think that part of the reason that I wanted to share Jan's story with you in my last post, was not only about highlighting her accomplishment, but about also highlighting part of what makes her and her son Dan somewhat extraordinary. It is their special relationship and the way that they champion, encourage and support each other to as they would put it 'Seize The Day'.

I know that for me, my mother is one of my biggest supporters and champions and I will be forever grateful for the way in which she has encouraged and supported me to follow my own path. It is a huge part of what has had me who I am today and given me the support and freedom to live my life my way and embark on some of my many adventures and find the courage and confidence to take some big risks. So thanks Mum!!! She is a remarkable woman in her own right and has walked her own challenging path for in life having been disabled from the age of 3 due to catching Polio as a child.

In my view, having champions and supporters in your life is an essential part of being successful and living a full, rich life. I am now much more conscious of who the important people are in my life and have been fortunate enough to gain many new supporters and champions in my life over recent years and the impact it has had on me has been richly rewarding. As I write I am also reminded that it is the challenges we face in life that make us who we are and make us stronger. Within each obstacle or challenge you face in life there will always be an opportunity or a gift if you are willing to look for it.

Take a little time to contemplate these questions: Who are your biggest supporters? What is it that they see in you and reflect back? How do they help you step up and step out? And who have you become as a result of the challenges you have faced in your life?

Within you is the capacity to do something amazing!