Flying Solo
I was coaching one of my clients this morning and what we uncovered during the conversation was the impact that his close family are having on his life and his efforts to change it. And how, whilst having the best of intentions, they were part of what was holding him back. Now this is very common, and also a somewhat complex topic, which I'm not going to dive into right now. However one thing in particular that he said stood out to me. He revealed that his wife was of the opinion that he shouldn't need to hire a coach to help him create a more successful life, he should be able to do it "on his own".
Has anyone ever said something similar to you? Or perhaps you have said it to yourself - you know, during one of those conversations with yourself in your own head? When I talk to people about making changes in their life it is something they often say to me - it usually goes something like "but shouldn't I be able to do this on my own?" Hell, it's something I even used to say to myself!
I've learned, however, that it is the opposite that is true. The most successful people get as much help as they need to accomplish their goal. How many athletes do you know that have reached the top of their game without the help of a coach. How many top business people have gotten there without learning from others along the way? Take someone like Ellen MacArthur for example, the fastest female and youngest sailor to race around the world solo, non-stop. Whilst she sailed around the world on her own, do you think she did it without any help? Of course not, she would have had advisors, trainers, sponsors to name but a few. In fact if you look at the front page of her website: www.ellenmacarthur.com you'll find the following quote:
"It's always been about a team. Thanks for our partners, friends and supporters. Without them we would be nowhere." Ellen MacArthur
Many people believe something along the lines that "if you have help to achieve something then it diminshes that achievement in some way, or means that they are weak or 'less than' as a person". Not true! It is a common misconception however, and one that I would advise you to eliminate from your life. So next time you hear a phrase like "you should be able to do it on your own", either from someone else, or from one of the little voices in your own head, remind yourself immediately that it is not true and focus on seeking the help you need to get to where you want to go.
Has anyone ever said something similar to you? Or perhaps you have said it to yourself - you know, during one of those conversations with yourself in your own head? When I talk to people about making changes in their life it is something they often say to me - it usually goes something like "but shouldn't I be able to do this on my own?" Hell, it's something I even used to say to myself!
I've learned, however, that it is the opposite that is true. The most successful people get as much help as they need to accomplish their goal. How many athletes do you know that have reached the top of their game without the help of a coach. How many top business people have gotten there without learning from others along the way? Take someone like Ellen MacArthur for example, the fastest female and youngest sailor to race around the world solo, non-stop. Whilst she sailed around the world on her own, do you think she did it without any help? Of course not, she would have had advisors, trainers, sponsors to name but a few. In fact if you look at the front page of her website: www.ellenmacarthur.com you'll find the following quote:
"It's always been about a team. Thanks for our partners, friends and supporters. Without them we would be nowhere." Ellen MacArthur
Many people believe something along the lines that "if you have help to achieve something then it diminshes that achievement in some way, or means that they are weak or 'less than' as a person". Not true! It is a common misconception however, and one that I would advise you to eliminate from your life. So next time you hear a phrase like "you should be able to do it on your own", either from someone else, or from one of the little voices in your own head, remind yourself immediately that it is not true and focus on seeking the help you need to get to where you want to go.
3 Comments:
hey Kyle, following the logic that 'he should be able to do it on his own', he shouldn't need a wife either....
of course, life doesn't work like that :-)
Nice one Jon! I hadn't thought of it like that :-)
been thinking about this some more Kyle - the whole idea of independence or 'flying solo' is just total fiction. we are completely interdependent.
we are 'needy' - we need others in order to live.
there is nothing that we can do completely independent of others - I'm sure it is in Eckhart Tolle's 'A New Earth' that he says even the richest people would not be able to pay for all of the oxygen they need to breathe in their lifetime.
and if 'he should be able to do it on his own' he'd already be doing it - so it's clearly not true.
what is true is that she thinks he should be able to!
the thoughts that happen while walking to the grocery store......
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